twilight of life

WHILE waiting for a friend, I entertained the thought of death. I am on my way to manila in an hour together with a friend who stays in that big city. I have stayed there for almost 3 years and it's no longer a strange place for me. I'll be there for one reason, a death of relative's relative. It may sound absurd for some to hear this, but yes, the person is not in anyway related to me.

But I do pay respect for him to begin with. I heard the news about his suffering the day it started. I was with my cousin in Singapore when we were, or she was bugged by her lolo's condition. The old man fought a battle of pneumonia. The seemingly irrational confidence that he will be winning over it didn't come and will never come. I saw how my cousin prayed hard for her lolo's recovery. My cousin nonchalantly went back here in the Philippines when her mom asked for her help to look after her grandpa. She put aside her dream of landing on a good job in the Lion City to be with the old man's battle.

I am not really good at giving advice to bereaved people. Although I have experienced losing some of my loved ones, their death did not really break me into pieces. I have known since the time I was active in church that death is a physical phenomenon that only implies God has taken one's life away. It maybe really hard to accept that we will no longer be able to extend our warmest love to the dead, physically. With one's death, kisses, hugs and talks die too - things that we can only do with people alive. I can never weigh the gravity on people's lives on how they grieve the death of whoever they lose. I can never say OK when it's not. I just know that it may really be painful but life has to move on for those who are left behind.

In my cousin's case, she witnessed everything. She witnessed how her lolo fought for his life. She witnessed how her lolo slowly left. She witnessed how God has taken her lolo's life away. And I witnessed her how she dealt with it when we were in the foreign land.

I may not be able to open my mouth when we see each other. I don't know how to comfort people through words. But I hope my presence at your grandfather's wake would be more than enough to say that my condolences are with you. Life never stops at the death of a loved one. He might have accomplished his mission in the physical world that's why he left. He maybe gone physically but the memories you shared together will always linger.